The Benefit of being good to one’s daughters

I request from his eminence to present some advice for the one who is being tested by way of one’s daughters and the benefit in raising them and in dealing with them in a good manner.

Response: It is necessary that those who provide for their daughters that they be good to them and raise them while observing good manners. The Prophet, the peace & blessings of Allah be upon him, said:

{Whoever is tested with something due to one’s daughters and remains good to them (during this trial) then he will have a cover that will protect him from the hellfire (on the Day of Judgment).}*

The Sunnah is to raise them while observing good manners, and to invite them to righteousness. As well as being gentle with them as there is glad tidings in being good to one’s daughters or sisters. And they should invite them to Allah by finding them righteous husbands who will excel in protecting them and enjoin them to fulfill the commands of Allah.

ash-Shaykh ‘Abdul-‘Azeez bin Baaz (rahimahullah)
Arabic Source: http://www.ibnbaz.org.sa/mat/1649
Translated by: Aboo ‘Imraan al-Mekseekee-may Allah guide him

* Related by at-Tirmidhee in Kitaab-ul-Birr was-Silah (the Book of Piety and Relations with the Relatives) under the chapter “What has been revealed regarding one’s spending on the daughters and sisters” with the wording: {Whoever is tested with something due to one’s daughters and he is patient with it then he will have a cover that will protect him from the hellfire (on the Day of Judgment).} And he also said in a narration graded as Hasan that was related by Ibn Maajah in Kitaab-ul-Adab (the Book of Manners) in the chapter “Serving the parents and being good to one’s daughters” with the wording: {Whoever has three daughters and is patient with them and feeds them, gives them drink, and clothes them from his provisioning, he will have a cover that will protect him from the hellfire on the Day of Judgment.}

The Telephone and the Woman

If one of the speakers is a woman then she must be cautious of being soft spoken. Indeed Allah the Glorified prohibited the wives of His Prophet, peace be upon him, the Mother of the Believers, Allah be pleased with them, from being spoken to in a seductive manner by the one who is moved with desire. And they in the time of the prophet hood and lifetime of the companions, Allah be pleased with them, were forbidden from being soft spoken, the Most High says:

{Do not be soft spoken unless the one in whose hear is a disease should be moved with desire but speak in an honorable manner.} Soorat-ul-Ahzaab: 32

So what about those women besides them? Indeed their prohibition of being soft spoken is from the most befitting. Therefore fear Allah O believing women, do not be soft spoken, speak in a good and honorable manner. Meaning, with no softness of tone or prolonged speech, the woman does not address the men she is not married to as she would address her husband.

The woman must be cautious in engaging in lengthy discussions with men that she is not married to even with her relatives that she is not allowed to be alone with according to what the Divine Legislation has forbidden, and the souls refuse it, and brings about in the same listener closeness.

She must also be cautious in raising her voice louder than normal and talking for a prolonged period of time while still being cautious of (avoiding) beautification, gentleness, softness, elegance, and flirtatiousness in a gentle tone and soft spoken manner.

Just as it is impermissible for her then it is also impermissible for the man to listen to her voice indulgently, even if she was reading the Quran. If the woman perceives that then it is impermissible for her to continue speaking with him due to the trial that it leads to.

And here (mention) is set aside for the man, the protector of the home, to arrange his affairs based on guarding and upholding virtue and to protect those that are sacred. So the woman (of the home) should not be the first one responsible for answering the phone while the male relatives are present. She should not respond in the presence of their absence under any circumstances, rather, the man of the home should direct her according to the circumstances and necessities he sees fit. And it is obligatory for her to hear and obey in honor, protecting what is more properly (to be protected) and leaving off any issues of difficulty.

Written by: ash-Shaykh Bakr ‘Abdullah Aboo Zayd (rahimahullah)
Taken from Adab-ul-Haatif (The Islamic Manners of Using the Telephone) Pages 15 - 16
Translated by: Aboo ‘Imraan al-Mekseekee-may Allah guide him